Realistic Dreaming

dreaming“Never let it be said that to dream is a waste of one’s time, for dreams are our realities in waiting. In dreams, we plant the seeds of our future.” -Unknown

 

I have always been a big dreamer, I do not mean this in the sense of my personal goals but when I sleep my mind tends to have extremely realistic dreams. One that has stuck with me since last year that I want to share is one that I hope to eventually have in life. It has been the one thing I know I have wanted since I was a young girl (14 to 15ish maybe) but knew it would be something I would not be able to have until I was much older(25-30 years old). To become a mother and have a functional/stable family. This is and has been my dream for a long time. I used to be ashamed of admitting it because I didn’t want what other girls my age wanted. These big careers so on and so forth. I would lie and say I wanted to become a famous artist, musician, or own my own business , which to be fair isn’t entirely a lie just not a true focus I suppose. I believe the reason I want the dream I have so much is because I come from a highly dysfunctional family so to have one that is stable, loving, and my own is something I’ve always yearned for. I never thought anyone would understand that so I felt ashamed and guilty for not wanting more out of life. Now I believe it is a wonderful dream. I don’t feel ashamed to want something I didn’t exactly have growing up and I know it is something that will happen later in life after I’m married. The trick is being patient. I am far from patient with things in life sometimes but I would/could never intentionally bring a child into the world without my partner wanting the same thing and both of us thinking it was the right time or that we wanted a child together. 

So now that there is some back story I can tell you about this dream. It was so realistic that when I woke up I was slightly bummed that it wasn’t real. To be honest I woke up with tears gently rolling from my eyes. It was a beautiful dream and one that I will forever treasure. I didn’t want to forget it so I wrote it down in a journal. This was back in October of 2016.

Journal Entry:

I had an extremely realistic and amazing dream last night. One of those ones that make you feel a bit disappointed when you wake up, yet you hope one day something similar to said dream comes true.

So it had to of been 3 or more years in the future. (No more than 6 years.) But I believe my husband and I were laying in our bed, we were in our own home, [we had our own house! 🙂 ] I could see our sheets, they were a very beautiful shady of slate grey with a slight tinge of purple. Everything else in the room was dark but the side lamp on the nightstand next to our bed was on and lit the area around us. We were laughing and all smiles. What we were laughing about I couldn’t say but then I looked down at my tummy to see what was moving. I was very pregnant. I got so excited and said to him, ” Babe! She’s kicking you have to feel this!” . I could see her little feet pushing on my tummy. The craziest part was it felt real! I grabbed his hand and put it over where our daughter was kicking me. He was smiling a smile so genuine, full of excitement, and a lot of love for our little baby girl. My heart melted. It was such an amazing moment. After that he kissed me and I snuggled into his chest and fell asleep.

When I woke up (in my dream) the house was eerily quiet. I looked over to find my husband looking a little sad but extremely relieved and happy I was awake. Very confused I grabbed my stomach to find I was no longer pregnant. In a panic I looked back at him and asked what happend. He told me I went into labor and had our daughter. After the birth however, I began loosing A LOT of blood and somehow went into an a coma. He then explained I had been asleep for a week and doctors weren’t sure when I would wake up. We both had begun crying at this point and through tears I asked if she was okay, was she healthy, where is she, and can I see her. I cared very little about my own health. She was my main concern.

He then smiled so big through tears (they seemed to be tears of relief), explained she was healthy and absolutely perfect. He then leaned over to a bassinet near our bed and picked up, with so much care, our beautiful baby girl. Now I literally felt myself fall in love as he placed her in my arms, I held my breath and I began crying…again. She was absolutely the most perfect little lady I had ever seen in my entire life. I studied her thoroughly and very carefully. She was peacefully asleep in my arms. I remember thinking she was so precious and tiny. She had my husband’s tanned complexion, it was stunning, she looked just like him. A cute little nose, small little mouth and lips, like me. As well as a decent amount of soft dark brown hair. When she opened her eyes though. My heart stopped. The most beautiful pair of grey blue eyes looked up at me. They were so innocent, crystal clear, and gorgeous. I have never seen eyes like that in my life. I looked up at him, he was studying me as motherhood flowed over me, he looked like he was awe-struck. Tears rolling down my face and a giant smile spread from cheek to cheek I told him how perfect she was. He agreed, leaned in and gave me the most tender and soft kiss I’d ever experienced. 

I have never had a dream make me feel the way this one did but minus the coma part, I hope its a dream that eventually comes true. I’m still speechless at the first look I had of our daughter. It made me wonder if that’s how it really feels when you become a parent for the first time and see your child. Only time will tell I suppose.

 

The craziest thing about this dream was how realistic it was. It is not the first time I have had a dream feel so realistic but it was the very first time I had ever had a dream make me feel an experience I had yet to even feel. I felt those kicks like my actual belly had a little karate master inside of it. That baby was so real I still have the image of her stuck in my head. It was a beautiful moment within a dream that I doubt I could ever forget. Maybe one day I’ll know the real feeling but until then this is a pretty cool dream, and a nice memory to think of every now and then. With so many friends of mine that are married and pregnant or just pregnant its a dream that comes to mind sometimes. Its not in the cards for me yet but one day it would be cool to have that experience of becoming a parent. I believe the reason for the coma in my dream would be because ever since I was a young girl I’ve always had a sinking feeling that I will have a very difficult time becoming pregnant. Whether that be true or not I think that’s why my dream put me into a coma. 

Anyways, this was just something I wanted to share because I’ve been having less and less realistic dreams as of late and the memory of this one is pretty crazy and really neat.